Look, what I have come across - a blog for Russians who try to learn English Language Etiquette

  Here is the link http://elerussians.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/whats-difference-between-english.html#comment-form


Oh, I hate the word 'etiquette' - its confusing spelling compliments the very tricky nature of the thing!

  Ian Mitchell writes for Russian-speaking people and seems to be sort of Professor Higgins with a touch of 'Scottishness' (yeah, it's a made-up word).

  Very interesting, sometimes slightly patronizing though when he tells Russians off for failing to get something right in English

Being polite...

...in the UK is quite a tricky thing for me.
Honestly, in Russia I was considered to be polite and tactful enough (sometimes too polite!) but here lots of things come across as rude.
  Being direct and straightforward - if it's only about your own thoughts and feelings! - is often seen as being rude and angry. And this is something that I so far have failed to understand.
  When shopping I tell a shop assistant that I don't want this dress because I don't like it, she gets such a face as if I have just made a nasty comment about her weird looking tattoo.
  When I don't smile back at a lame joke, a person who has made it, looks at me expectantly.
  When being asked something about Russia I give an answer that doesn't fit into my listener's ideas about what Russia is like, he or she looks at me as if I have just mentioned their mother in an unacceptable way.

  Not very long ago I read a post by the bloke who is the anchorman of the programme called Top Gear (yeah, it's an old one).
  He was sharing his unpleasant experience of travelling to Russia, where people - as he thinks - are all very rude, because they don't use all those apologetic phrases but go straight to the point. How rude! Russians apparently don't do famous small talk as well - barbaric country!
  So Mr. Jeremy Clarkson was happy to be back to the UK where he was finally able to do some small talking thing to a milkman!

  I am not even going to mention a simple fact of which Mr. Top Gear might not be aware of, which is - they don't speak English in Russia, sadly the state language in Russia is Russian and that nasty Russian girl at the hotel reception who told you, sir, "Passport!" instead of "I am really very sorry for bothering you, sir, but would you, sir, please be so kind and show me your passport, please? Sorry for causing that much trouble!" This barbaric Russian - and I am 100 percent certain of that - didn't mean to be rude in any way, her English might be very basic, but if you could speak or understand a little Russian you might probably be surprised to get all those apologetic phrases you needed that much.

  But that is just plain nonsense of course - everywhere they should speak English well enough to provide Mr. Top Gear with the sense of complete satisfaction. Language satisfaction.

  There is one thing I totally agree on with Mr. Not-liking-rude-Russians - Russian people don't do small talk.

  I am sorry but that's true. Life is short - go straight to the point!
 So when I go 'dress hunting' - that's the only type of hunting I am more or less good at! - instead of saying,
"That's a lovely gown, I like the embroidered skirt, and the fabric is so luxurious and the cut is divine, but I don't think I am good enough for this dress!" Instead of this I am - being a nasty rude Russian - likely to say, 'It's too loose and what's the point of having a nice waist and buying a bulky looking dress that makes you look as if you are trying to sneak a couple of foot balls into the party under your gown?"

  I am lying actually. I won't be saying that. I will say, 'It's ugly and I don't like it'.

However, you won't believe but on lots of occasions I was shocked at how rude British people are! At least they came across as being rude.

And here are some revealing examples:
1. I still can't get used to waiters in pubs and cafes who interrupt your conversations at table by asking, 'Was it OK? Was your food all right?' We are talking! Say 'Excuse me' at least! Instead they start shouting straightaway and grabbing the plates as if their buttocks are on fire. Very rude and unwelcoming.
2. British people starting talking to you in a weird voice when they find out you are a foreigner. I am Russian, not deaf! There is a difference :)
3. People emptying their noses loudly in public places like pubs and cafes. That's just gross, guys!
4. British people stare! No, it's like this - they S-T-A-R-E! Sometimes I feel as if some random person tries to X-ray me with his eyes.
5. British shop assistants at women's underwear department - I don't want any assistance with my bras, thank you very much! To be honest I just see it as invasion into my personal private space and having a look at my breasts.

These are just a few examples that came to mind :).
  

What Western (British, Americans, etc.) people know (or think they do) about Russia and Russians...

  It had never stricken me, it had never been that crystal clear until I moved to the UK how little (sadly!) or even less than little British people know about Russia and Russians.

 Now I am sort of 'surrounded' by Western culture, unlike lots of Russians abroad I don't watch Russian TV, don't read Russian newspapers and I tend to watch lots of Hollywood and British films instead. And it seems to me most Western cliches about Russia are still more like 'Cold War' type things, Russia and Russians still being 'monsters under your bed', something you get scared about without knowing a slightest thing.

  So, for you, dear readers, to get an idea of what it looks like to a Russian (pure 100% Russian :), here they are, British and Western cliches about Russia and Russians (based on films, programmes, articles on the Internet and in media).

1. Russians only eat cabbage soup. When they have had enough of cabbage soup, they start eating beetroot. Russians put beetroot into almost each and every dish, including puddings.

2. It's always bloody f***ing cold in Russia. Those who tell you it's actually +30 in Moscow in July are bloody sneaky KGB agents who just want to drag you into this freezing cold country where you are most likely to freeze you bloody bollocks off even in the middle of August!!! If you by some unluck have to travel to Russia in the summer you better pack your bloody uggs and a fur hat because it's bloody freezing.

3. All Russians are bandits, gangsters and mafia people. They are taught to be gangsters since kindergarten. A perfect gift for a Russian toddler is an AK gun. And a bag of beetroot, of course!

4. There are bears everywhere in Russia. Russians like deadly dangerous types of entertainment like getting drunk and dancing with bears in freezing cold. Bears in Russia actually prefer cabbage soup to honey, bite it, Winnie-the-Pooh!

5. Russians always shoot. They tend to start firing their AK guns as an argument in a discussion or every time they feel frustrated or upset. For example, when they don't have a bear to dance with or failed to find beet root in a banoffee pie!

6. Russians don't speak any English at all. Well, they don't have to - they all have an AK gun! If you come across a Russian who speaks almost perfect English, beware!!! It must be a sneaky f***king KGB agent.

7. When Russians speak English, they sound like meerkats. Like Alexander and Sergey from those infamous TV adverts. Only without being cute and cuddly like them.

  So, if we have a look at typical Western cliches about Russia and Russians, they are: cold, vodka, bears, mafia, AK guns, beetroot and cabbage soup!
  'Simples!!!'

Huge slugs in my garden!!!

  Unlike lots of women in Russia, I am not afraid of mice, snakes, I can even stand seeing a cockroach without fainting.

  In fact in my eventful life there were times when I used to catch mice with nearly bare hands - well, I had my hand wrapped in a plastic bag (or, rather, had a plastic bag over my hand) and was chasing after mice all over my room in the students' dorm. I caught about 20 or 30 of those squeaking monsters. Not every cat can boast of such heroism and that many trophies.
  All cockroaches in the neighbourhood knew I wasn't the one to mess with - I killed them with cold heart and slippers.
  But before moving to the UK I had never seen slugs of this size: they are huuuuuuuuuge! They are fat and disgusting.
  They live in my garden and happen to think they can treat themselves to my cat's food. They scare my cat and disgust me.
  If anyone knows a way to get rid of them for good, please let me know - they attack my cat's bowl which is outside at the moment because it's nice and warm. They come in the dark, quiet, disgusting intruders.
  Please let me know: my cat will be grateful :)

Something special about Britain

  Yes, I have been here for 8 or 9 months only and yes, I am currently experiencing some kind of inner cultural clashing, noticing lots of cultural differences between Russia and the UK.
  Some are nice, some scary and some really weird.
  Britain is the country where dogs of deadly breeds run in the parks freely like labrador puppies while little kids, mostly toddlers, are often kept on a leash.
 

(Copyright - http://www.youjustmademylist.com/?p=4560)

  When I saw my first 'leashed toddler' I couldn't but keep staring at both the kid and the proud parent.

  A couple of days ago in Worcester I spotted a young man with his baby daughter on a leash: he was busy fiddling with his iPhone while the girl wanted to look at some flowers and tried to reach them. The man didn't turn his head in her direction (too busy with facebook or something) but instead pulled the leash a few times like you do with your dog when it gets too excited over some pissed bush and you want to go home as quickly as possible because of some lame TV programme like 'Dogging with Stars' or 'Top Gear'. So you pull the leash in irritation, shouting, 'Come on, Spotty, time to go home!'

  Though I realise it must be because of parents being very protective of their kids, to me it looks weird and a bit barbaric

Exploring Russia: charming Suzdal

  If there is any tourists-friendly city in Russia it must be Suzdal.
  It is as charming, cosy and pastoral as it can be, it's a sort of  'Hollywood fairy-tale' picture of Russia.
  Located in 220 kms away from Moscow, Suzdal is a perfect place for spending a few days enjoying unique historical sights, medieval Russian architecture, long walks in nearly countryside surroundings, Russian cuisine and shopping for some funny memorable gifts.
 

(Copyright http://www.lifeisphoto.ru/photo.aspx?id=144535)

  It's so peaceful, friendly, generous, welcoming, so different from noisy Moscow with its hectic and crazy pace of life that you will feel relaxed, rested and, hopefully, will be able to really enjoy your stay in Russia :)

(Copyright - Dmitry Kuzin).

  It's a busy tourist place so there won't be any difficulties getting an English speaking guide.

  It's worth knowing that medieval architecture in Russia is mostly convents, monasteries and churches, however, Russian Orthodox churches, elegant and beautiful in their 'bridal white', with golden, green or blue cupolas give a very light, warming and joyful impression.

  And do not dare leaving Suzdal without trying their delicious dumplings and pancakes! :)

  Summer is traditionally a very festive season in Suzdal with lots of festivals, including the so called 'Cucumber Day', when a big 'cucumber parade' is held with fancy dresses and entertainment and Russian 'babushkas' selling home-made pickled cucumbers.

A couple of years ago I went to Suzdal for the 'Cucumber Day' and couldn't resist the temptation of buying a few home-made pickled cucumbers. They tasted heavenly but the most 'seductive' thing about them was this divine aroma, the combination of dill, parsley, young blackcurrant leaves, and all the herbs Russian 'babushkas' use, keeping their recipes in secret. And though it would sound weird but tasting these cucumbers might tell you more about Russia and Russians than books or articles in mass-media.

   

Eating Out in Moscow

Well, it's July now and we are in the peak of 'tourist' season in Moscow. 

If you want to visit the capital of Russia, the best time to do it is in the period from May to September.

Surprisingly enough September can be absolutely gorgeous: it's Indian summer so it is generally quite warm (+15/+19C) and nice and you can enjoy all those wonderful autumn colours without inevitable for this season  rains and winds.

  A couple of months ago I wrote this post http://morethaneverexpected.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/hostile-moscow.html about Moscow being unfriendly towards visitors. However, I will always keep saying that Russia is worth coming to because of its very different and unique culture. Moscow 'architectural treasures' are worth seeing - most of Western people I have known who came to Moscow either for holiday or on business have always pointed out how impressively different it is from anything they saw before.

  The infamous Moscow prices which are quite often ridiculously high can be a total deal-breaker if you want  to visit Moscow. It is the city where they can charge you 10 pounds for a cup of coffee in a coffee-shop and your coffee will still be a disappointment. 

  So I am going to be 'painfully honest' with you: visiting Moscow for high-class dining out experience might not be a very good idea. If posh dining out isn't something you are looking for, if you are travelling to Moscow to see the Kremlin, St. Basil's Cathedral, famous Moscow churches, beautiful 'palace parks' like Ostankino or Tsaritsino and you only need good though probably not very sophisticated food to keep you happy I suggest you stick to fast food restaurants.

So here they are:

1. Macdonald's, KFC and some other familiar brands: noisy, usually crowded, but safe and very predictable.  So far, living in the UK and visiting Macdonald's (I like their toffee sundae) I haven't spotted any principal differences between the menu here, in the UK, and in Moscow. 

Though you shouldn't expect the staff to speak English there will always be a manager who will help you out and even if he or she fails to understand your, for instance, Black Country accent, which is absolutely fantastic but I have to admit it sounds extremely frustrating to a Russian ear, - even in this case you will always be able to simply point to food you want on a picture.

  Moscow prices in Macdonald's are more or less the same as in the UK, might be slightly higher though.

2. 'Elki-palki' or, in Russian, "Елки-палки". It's a chain of fast food restaurants where you in fact get proper service - with waiters and so on. It is Russian national cuisine or, to be precise, stylized Russian cuisine.

  It's all about Russian pancakes and dumplings and traditional meat or fish dishes.

  Here is the link to their website http://www.elki-palki.ru/moskva/

  Unfortunately the menu is in Russian only, but as I have been in their restaurants with my English speaking friends quite a few times I can say (basing on experience) that the staff there can speak basic English quite often.

  If you are curious about their menu now please ask - I can translate bits of it for you, dear readers:)

  In fact if there is any Moscow equivalent to British family pubs - 'Elki-palki' must be it.

  Dinner for 2 people (without alcohol) will cost you around 25-30 pounds, there are a lot of restaurants all over Moscow, the menu is always more or less the same and though I can not say that it's posh or fine dining but it's as tasty, nice and welcoming as it can be.

  

In this photo you can see the so called 'telega' (a cart in Russian) which is basically a buffet with a variety of salads, dips, lots of which are vegetarian and trust me - not all of them contain cabbage or beet-root, something you would expect from Russians! Quite tasty and filling :)

3. 'Mou-mou' fast food restaurants ("Му-му" in Russian), means 'moo', yeah, you got it right - it's what a cow says. Why a cow and 'moo'? Do not get over-excited and think that it means a good piece of steak. No :)

  The chain actually got its name from  famous Soviet sweets called 'Moo-moo', which are basically caramel toffees and you will be given a sweet for free every time you buy something from 'Mou-mou'.

  Like 'Elki-palki' it's a chain of restaurants so you can find a 'Mou-mou' place almost everywhere. Unlike 'Elki-Palki' though you don't get waiters' service there - it's like a canteen.

 Which means you come there, grab a tray and move along the line with food where you are asked what you would like. It starts with all types of salads, then soups, then hot dishes, then desserts and drinks.

  Here is the link to their menu http://www.cafemumu.ru/menu/

  Sadly - again in Russian only. Explaining to a person behind the counter what you would like without knowing Russian is a tricky bit of course but all the foods are displayed so you can simply have a look and point to something you like. Or bring your Russian speaking friend with you :) Or ask me to translate something from the menu for you :)

  Here is what their places look like:

  

Quite nice, actually. The biggest advantage is the price, your full dinner (not including alcohol) will cost you 15 pounds or so for two.

4. 'Taras Bulba'. Again a chain of restaurants. It's Ukrainian cuisine, not Russian basically, but it is rather similar. It's named after a famous Ukrainian war hero Taras Bulba (you can google a book about him, written by a great Russian 19th century writer Nicolay Gogol').

  Though the interior might seem OTT or even tacky the food is nice and filling and you will definitely enjoy the experience.

  

It's a more expensive option than 'Elki-palki' but they do have - if I remember that right - English menus in their restaurants.

  So these have been my recommendations for dining out places in Moscow. Hopefully you will find them helpful if you are planning on travelling to the capital of Russia.

  And if there are questions you want to ask, then go ahead :)