Ideology in Russia

 It's finally happened.
After 1990s, the decade when Russia was trying to embrace democratic values - without any clear idea of what it actually means - we have given up those hopeless efforts and turned back to what we are familiar with all too well.
Good old Soviet Cold War ideology techniques.

Nothing unites the Russian nation more than a real or imaginary threat from the unknown West.  
Nothing is more pleasing to a Russian ear than talking about Russia as a mighty powerful dominant country where we don't tolerate 'weak and perverted' Western values but have ones of our own.

In this thriving imaginary Russia men are tall, strong, masculine and brave, women are submissive, fertile and quiet. 
No other nation would dare challenge us because our tanks are massive and our weapons are countless. 
Strong is our faith with our 'King President' praying passionately next to our obese with sanctity priests.

Going back to what once proved to be dangerous, ineffective, devastating for the nation and simply idiotic - doesn't it prove to the nation how desperate its government is to do ANYTHING that would secure its powers? For just a bit longer. 

Being British VS Being Russian

Sometimes I wish British people were more like Russians - straightforward and direct.
Sometimes I wish Russian people were more like British - polite and reserved.

Sometimes I wish British people would speak up.
Sometimes I wish Russians would shut up and listen.

Sometimes I wish.... :)

"Blame the Russians!"

Inspired by "Blame Canada":

If your kids are very naughty
Or your boyfriend kinda snotty,
Blame the Russians!
Blame the Russians!

If your boss's a giant prick,
And your girlfriend's very thick
Blame the Russians!
Blame the Russians!

If your school mates give you wedgies,
If your garden's full of badgers,
Blame the Russians!
Blame the Russians!

If you stepped into dog's pooh,
Or got nothing else to do,
Blame the Russians!
Blame the Russians!

Sing this song along with me,
Louder than "Let It Be!"
"Blame the Russians!
Blame the Russians!"

Are all Russians miserable gits? or Why do Russians never smile?

 One of the things British people complain about after visiting Russia and one of the things that might annoy you in your Russian colleagues or friends here in the UK is the fact Russians don't normally do social smiling.
  Russians struggle with it.
  They try really hard to get integrated into British society but this is something that just doesn't work with us, people born on the sixth of the world's surface.
  We don't smile without a reason.
   No wonder most Russians look like him to British public:
 

  Personally I think he is cute and adorable but an average Russian isn't that fluffy so our cuteness is something that reveals itself slowly.

  Those nice and kind British people who after visiting Moscow with horrible grumpy-looking Russians try to find an explanation for this usually come up with this one, "Russians were through a lot of misery during Soviet times and Stalin era so we can excuse their inability to smile".

  However the reasons might be much more complicated and go much deeper into history.

  In traditional Russian culture smiling or laughing without a reason was always seen as a sign of stupidity. Russia was a huge mostly agricultural country until the 20th century and smiling was out of the question for most of Russian farmers. Only a fool smiles without a reason. An intelligent person keeps a serious face.

  What about politeness one might ask?

  And here we come to a very interesting point: keeping a serious face while talking to somebody and avoiding smiling was actually seen as the only appropriate and polite behaviour!

  Why? How is that possible???

  In Russian culture if you don't smile and keep a strict face so to say it means you respect the person you are talking to because you are taking him or her seriously, listen to them attentively. 

A serious straight face also means that you are somebody who can be trusted. That you are an honest, reliable, serious person and you are not making fun out of your listener or laughing at them. A serious face means that you are giving them your undivided attention and take the conversation close to heart.

  It might sound absurd to British people but keeping a serious face when talking to someone actually did mean you were being polite and respectful towards them! 

  So next time you are in Moscow and those nasty Russian bastards don't smile to you - take it easy and think of this in the perspective I've suggested :) 

  

Russian stereotypes about Britain and British

  Well, when I read this article in DM last night and looked through all those nasty comments I got really sad about the following: looks like DM is deliberately forming a very "specific" image of Russia in minds of Brits and encourages British people to get more "anti-Russian" myths.

 What does an average British person know about Russia?

  It's cold, there is Putin, everybody drinks vodka, there are bears with balalaikas everywhere, all Russians are drunkards and mafia people.
  That's basically it.
  Does an average British person know that Russia is a country of more than 200 different languages? That it has unbelievable variety of landscapes, cultures, time zones?

  Were the people who commented about "Russia being a primitive country" and "every Russian having a mental illness" keeping in mind great Russian literature, classical ballet, unique architecture? 

  British people have ENOUGH unfortunate  myths and stereotypes about Russia and Russians.

  Every newspaper - especially a big one such as Daily Mail - MUST have some social responsibility.
  Every author in a newspaper has to understand that he or she is responsible for what they write. For what they encourage.

  At the moment I can say that Daily Mail is responsible for this xenophobic wave of hatred towards Russians in comments.

  And the saddest thing is that it only adds to all those nasty "anti-Russian" myths.

  So - what about Russians then? What do average Russians think of Britain and British people?

  It might surprise somebody but Russians actually have quite positive stereotypes of the UK and people living in the country.
 1. Britain is the country of great English classical literature and specifically of Sherlock Holmes.
  There was a very successful and very popular TV-series in Soviet times about Sherlock Holmes.

To the left - Livanov (Sherlock Holmes), to the right - Solomin (Doctor Watson).
  Filmed in the times of Iron Curtain and total deficit this TV series became extremely popular. The whole film crew worked hard to make the film and everything in it look as English as possible - not an easy task in those days.
  It's an adorable movie classics now.
 2. Britain is the country of people with perfect manners.
  Russians may joke about it (here is one old Russian joke: a woman with lots of heavy bags gets on a bus. All seats are taken, mostly by men. She sighs and says to a big bloke sitting on a seat next to her, "Are there any gentlemen on this bus?", looking at him expectantly and hoping he will give her his seat. "There are plenty of gentlemen here!", responds the bloke, "There are no spare seats though!").
 

 So Russians may joke about that but "ladylike" and "gentleman" behaviour is something Russians strongly associate with Britain and British.
  All British people are polite and well-mannered - that's what most Russians think.
3. All British people are into sports, they are athletic sport-loving fit people.
  
This might have come from the general perception that Britain is the "cradle" of sport - especially football.
4. British people are well-educated.
   

  This is of course strongly associated with boarding schools - though most Russians are aware that not every Brit goes to a public school there is still this idea that British people get educated in a very classical way, studying Latin, Ancient Greek and spending most of their youths with heavy books in their hands.

  I could go on with positive stereotypes Russians have about Britain and British: about five o'clock teas, cute old ladies in funny hats, about British people loving their pets dearly, about British people having healthy porridge for breakfast, etc. - but all in all those stereotypes are not bad, they are positive and quite friendly.

  And about this publication and comments in DM: you can have hostile perception of any and every nation. Is it really that good to be alienated? 

"Russians are far from the norm!" and "British people have more class!" Daily Mail

  Daily Mail posted a short article about what somebody named Hayley O'Keeffe called "Russian online dating".
  Here's the link http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2492393/Hilarious-images-singles-looking-love-Russian-dating-site.html.
  The person named H.O'Keeffe doesn't specify which dating website it is, instead uses lots of generalizing phrases like "desperate poses of Russians looking for love", "welcome to the world of Russian online dating".
  The person named H. O'Keeffe didn't bother herself looking up the words in the newspaper on one of the photos - otherwise she would know it's not Russian, it's Ukrainian actually.

  It doesn't matter however. What matters is that this publication "triggered" lots of very xenophobic and bullying comments.

Here are some of them,
"Russians are far from norm"
"Primitive country!"
"I want the Iron Curtain back!"
"Russia has never been the brightest nation!"

"To think we fought along side with this Filth in WW2 makes me vomit!"

"Russians are 30 years behind!"

"Exactly WHICH planet are Russians from?"

and the "best" - in my opinion "I have heard that every Russian has a mental condition due to genetics!"

  Apart from the fact that it is very xenophobic and it is cyber-bullying of an entire nation there are other aspects to that that bother me.

  The main one is the following: why would media want to form an unfortunate image like that of an entire nation? Of a big country with several time zones and nearly 300 different languages?

  Why would DM approve of and encourage xenophobic comments?

  How is it possible that in the country which is proud of fighting against racism one of the biggest and most popular newspapers allows articles like that and comments like that?

  Is being xenophobic any better than being a racist?

  Or, and that's an interesting bit - Are some animals still more equal that others? 

  Does DM really stand for the opinion that some countries (like Russia) are "primitive, 30 years behind, mentally ill" and that is why cyber-bullying of these countries is justified? 

  Because - Britain is much better than Russia so you can bully Russia and Russians as much as you like - they are a nation of a "third rate"?

Being critical

  All those pointless megabytes of "Me and some stuff" photos in social networks!
  All those "who the f**k cares" details of one's own life!
  What a perfect way to create a virtual temple for worshiping yourself.

  For lots of people it IS already a Matrix - you can't encounter as many lies elsewhere but networks.
  

Women of the 50s

  Having seen 'Mona Lisa's Smile' which is on TV tonight several times before I keep thinking about enormous difference between Western and Soviet women in the 1950s.
  The story told in the film is about a college art teacher who challenges 'traditional values' of 1950-s women - marriage and family above all and everything. No career pursuit whatsoever, no job, just home life and housework - that was these middle-class young women's destiny, even though they were getting education good enough to become lawyers or corporate executives.
  One of the most remarkable scenes in this film (in my opinion) is Nancy Abbey's class in - I really don't know what to call this subject they were studying... Domestic Life? Being a Good Wife? Mastering the Art of Running a House? - when girls are supposed to roleplay solving the issue of a dinner party for their potential husband's boss and his colleague rivals.
  Lots and lots have been written on the subject of women's role in society after World War II - it was undoubtedly strongly associated with dinner parties, serving supper at 5 pm sharp, greeting a husband with a smile and a Martini - being home goddesses, whatever this slightly offensive phrase might mean.
  After the war - and this idea is neither fresh nor challenging - the world was striving to see women being as much feminine as possible.

    That's where this luxurious and submissive Dior's New Look came from - this 'highly feminine' fashion of high heels, corset-type dresses, red lipstick and girly curls.
  Women as home elves, fragile but hard working creatures, stunning at dinner parties and restless at housework.
  Women as expensive but totally dependent toys. Men's toys, of course. Men's possessions.
  One of the characters of the greatest 19th century Russian playwright Ostrovsky, Larisa Ogudalova, an outstandingly beautiful and charming young girl from a noble but impoverished family, claims that if she is supposed to be some man's possession the only way is to be an expensive one. Very cynical and tragic line reflecting on what women's destiny was (and is and will be) in a men powered world.
  And those college girls in the film were putting a lot of effort in making themselves very expensive assets for their future husbands - assets as valuable as possible, possessions to be proud of.
  Was it or was it not the only women's choice in 1950s Western world - being a perfect wife and mother - is another matter.
  The fact is women in the Soviet Union in the same decade were as far from this destiny of 'domestic goddesses' as never before.
  Total deficit was the main feature of the era - Soviet women couldn't even dream of luxurious clothes in Dior's New Look style. A pair of new stockings - that was a dream come true. Genuine perfume - a heavenly gift. 'Girly' little luxuries were so rare in those days and any attempts to look pretty were seen as inappropriate fussiness.
  Soviet women of the 50s had neither resources nor time to long for divine femininity of 'home goddesses' because they had to face the most fatal and devastating deficit - the lack of men, millions of which were killed at war.
  Most Soviet households in the 1950s were widowed women's desperate homes filled with despair, tears and struggle to get bread on the table.
  It was Soviet women who were rebuilding the country and the society in the 1950s. It was women who were raising kids, fixing railways and growing crops. Millions of desperate women whose feet were too 'worn out' for New Look high heels. Millions of widows who had their late husbands' photos hidden behind icons - in the last hope they might come back one day.
  They were absolutely free from being just someone's other half at home.
  They didn't have any chance to enjoy this luxury of just being a wife.
  Given this chance, would they choose New Look dresses and dinners at 5? 

"We were very lucky. They hardly ever sold us against our will!"

  Not so many Western people know that serfdom (which is basically slavery) existed in Russia up to 1861 when serfs (most of them peasants) were all freed thanks to Tsar Alexander II reform.

  Just for the sake of comparison: serfdom stopped existing in Britain in the XVth century.

  Slavery was abolished in the USA by 1865.

  So in terms of time there isn't considerable difference between Russia and the USA.

  When it comes to serfs' and slaves' rights I have to say both categories (in America as well as in Russia) were absolutely dependent on their owners' will. Russian serfs couldn't move against their owners' will, couldn't marry whoever they wanted, were seriously abused by their owners', had to rely completely on their owners' good will. 

  They were easily traded and their desire was never taken into account.

  It was a common thing among nobility to sell several serfs - or 'souls' as they were used to be called - for a couple of good hunting dogs (Russian nobility in the XIXth century were passionate hunters).

  My ancestors on my Mother's side were serfs. Slaves. Without any rights whatsoever - they could be sold, whipped to death, robbed or raped by their owners.

  However, our family history says the nobility owning us were quite liberal. As my great-grandmother used to say, "They were kind and merciful and never sold us against our will!"

  Serfdom (slavery) didn't stop people from being talented artists, composers, poets and actors.

  One of the most famous and most romantic love stories is the one of Parasha Kovaleva-Zhemchugova, a serf actress, who secretly got married to her owner, Count Sheremetyev - marriage almost impossible in the early XIXth century. 

  

'First they came for....'

  I have just been pointed out that one very famous quote could be applied to the current situation in Russia.
  It's the one by Martin Niemoeller:

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the socialists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Catholic.

Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak for me.

Anybody who is different. Anybody who stands out. 

Notorious Russian blogger's answer to Stephen Fry's letter

I have translated this post for my English-speaking readers.

I have put some of the bits of it in bold just to stress them - they are not in bold in the original.

One can easily see how much twisting with the words and meanings is involved here, how hypocritical these statements are, how eloquent the blogger is to support her ideas.

Dear Mr. President! Dear Vladimir Vladimirovich!

Dear Mr. Rogge, Mr. Alexander Zhukov and all the other Members of the International Olympic Committee!

I am not Stephen Fry, I'm just a modest scriptwriter, a novel writer and a fitness loving girl, so I guess my letter might never reach you. But I'm writing in hope to be heard, while probably not by you, but at least by all the sensible people, who consider the traditional sexual orientation and love for sports to be their solid and unquestionable values.

I hate all forms and kinds of fascism, I hate wars, including the Second World War, which the Nazi Germany started against the whole world thanks to criminal condonation and even instigation of Great Britain. My best friend is Jewish and her family's tragic story as well as millions of other families' stories has made me believe that you can't grade people dividing them into classes and treating them as either the first or the second class and that you can't just use people as 'cannon fodder' in wars for your own criminal interests.

Unfortunately some British citizens longing for the past imperial ambitions (sic!) are itching for those gone ambitions now. They seem to believe that in our country homosexual people should be graded higher and treated better than heterosexual people. They can't understand why gay people in Russia are not favoured over straight people and why the latter's rights and freedom are not being limited or violated.

It's fascism, in my humble opinion. Great Britain has already made a costly mistake in the past by acknowledging and accepting Nazi Germany on the international level and by arranging the Olympics in Berlin in 1936. At first they allowed Hitler to get armed turning their blind eye to Jewish massacres and concentration camps for Jews and then they stopped isolation of the criminal Nazi regime by sending British sportsmen to the Olympics in Berlin.

Now we are all under similar threat. Unhappy with their rights which are equal to the rights of heterosexual people gays are campaigning their government and the IOC for staging the Olympiad not in Russia but somewhere else, in a country where their 'sort' of people are favoured over straight people.

'All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing', so wrote Edmund Burke. Are you going to be those who allow evil to triumph?

Dear Mr. President! Dear Members of the IOC!

I'm begging you to ban countries that create hostility, evil and mutual hatred from taking part in the Olympics. I'm begging you to ban countries that grade people favouring and praising one 'sort' and humiliating the others. We all remember too well what this kind of 'grading' could lead to. We can't just keep quiet, we have to and must stress the equal rights of all the people regardless of their skin colour, ethnicity and sexual orientation. Who else if not us? When if not now?

In pursuit for peace and equal rights, with passion for sports,

Lena Miro.

I would also like to make something very clear - although I support Stephen Fry's ideas I have to say that in my opinion it's not just homosexual people who are under threat in modern Russian. It more or less concerns every minority or simply everybody who is different - in one way or another. 

Putin's supporters reaction to the open letter by Steven Fry

  Stephen Fry's famous letter concerning banning on the Russian Winter Olympics in 2014 because of severe violation of LGBT people's rights in Russia is one of the 'hottest' points for discussion in Russian blogs and media now. Here is the link http://www.stephenfry.com/2013/08/07/an-open-letter-to-david-cameron-and-the-ioc/

  While lots of Russians agree with the letter and share thoughts expressed in it, Putin's supporters are expressing the opposite view on the subject. 

  Like this, for instance, http://miss-tramell.livejournal.com/394926.html. An open letter to President Putin written by an infamous blogger Lena Miro, a member of the ruling party in Russia and the author of a few homophobic posts. Translation of the letter will be available in my blog in 10 minutes.

Lavender fields forever!

Amazing lavender fields not far from Broadway

  Lots of butterflies, bumble bees and other insects not paying any attention to tourists

  

  Some people are having a photo session

  Beautiful lavender fields, pleasing all your senses
   

  If you want to see them, hurry up - they started harvesting on the 1st of August and are about to finish by 15th. Lavender farms near Broadway, photos by Tim Colville ©, www.timcolville.co.uk

Look, what I have come across - a blog for Russians who try to learn English Language Etiquette

  Here is the link http://elerussians.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/whats-difference-between-english.html#comment-form


Oh, I hate the word 'etiquette' - its confusing spelling compliments the very tricky nature of the thing!

  Ian Mitchell writes for Russian-speaking people and seems to be sort of Professor Higgins with a touch of 'Scottishness' (yeah, it's a made-up word).

  Very interesting, sometimes slightly patronizing though when he tells Russians off for failing to get something right in English

Being polite...

...in the UK is quite a tricky thing for me.
Honestly, in Russia I was considered to be polite and tactful enough (sometimes too polite!) but here lots of things come across as rude.
  Being direct and straightforward - if it's only about your own thoughts and feelings! - is often seen as being rude and angry. And this is something that I so far have failed to understand.
  When shopping I tell a shop assistant that I don't want this dress because I don't like it, she gets such a face as if I have just made a nasty comment about her weird looking tattoo.
  When I don't smile back at a lame joke, a person who has made it, looks at me expectantly.
  When being asked something about Russia I give an answer that doesn't fit into my listener's ideas about what Russia is like, he or she looks at me as if I have just mentioned their mother in an unacceptable way.

  Not very long ago I read a post by the bloke who is the anchorman of the programme called Top Gear (yeah, it's an old one).
  He was sharing his unpleasant experience of travelling to Russia, where people - as he thinks - are all very rude, because they don't use all those apologetic phrases but go straight to the point. How rude! Russians apparently don't do famous small talk as well - barbaric country!
  So Mr. Jeremy Clarkson was happy to be back to the UK where he was finally able to do some small talking thing to a milkman!

  I am not even going to mention a simple fact of which Mr. Top Gear might not be aware of, which is - they don't speak English in Russia, sadly the state language in Russia is Russian and that nasty Russian girl at the hotel reception who told you, sir, "Passport!" instead of "I am really very sorry for bothering you, sir, but would you, sir, please be so kind and show me your passport, please? Sorry for causing that much trouble!" This barbaric Russian - and I am 100 percent certain of that - didn't mean to be rude in any way, her English might be very basic, but if you could speak or understand a little Russian you might probably be surprised to get all those apologetic phrases you needed that much.

  But that is just plain nonsense of course - everywhere they should speak English well enough to provide Mr. Top Gear with the sense of complete satisfaction. Language satisfaction.

  There is one thing I totally agree on with Mr. Not-liking-rude-Russians - Russian people don't do small talk.

  I am sorry but that's true. Life is short - go straight to the point!
 So when I go 'dress hunting' - that's the only type of hunting I am more or less good at! - instead of saying,
"That's a lovely gown, I like the embroidered skirt, and the fabric is so luxurious and the cut is divine, but I don't think I am good enough for this dress!" Instead of this I am - being a nasty rude Russian - likely to say, 'It's too loose and what's the point of having a nice waist and buying a bulky looking dress that makes you look as if you are trying to sneak a couple of foot balls into the party under your gown?"

  I am lying actually. I won't be saying that. I will say, 'It's ugly and I don't like it'.

However, you won't believe but on lots of occasions I was shocked at how rude British people are! At least they came across as being rude.

And here are some revealing examples:
1. I still can't get used to waiters in pubs and cafes who interrupt your conversations at table by asking, 'Was it OK? Was your food all right?' We are talking! Say 'Excuse me' at least! Instead they start shouting straightaway and grabbing the plates as if their buttocks are on fire. Very rude and unwelcoming.
2. British people starting talking to you in a weird voice when they find out you are a foreigner. I am Russian, not deaf! There is a difference :)
3. People emptying their noses loudly in public places like pubs and cafes. That's just gross, guys!
4. British people stare! No, it's like this - they S-T-A-R-E! Sometimes I feel as if some random person tries to X-ray me with his eyes.
5. British shop assistants at women's underwear department - I don't want any assistance with my bras, thank you very much! To be honest I just see it as invasion into my personal private space and having a look at my breasts.

These are just a few examples that came to mind :).
  

What Western (British, Americans, etc.) people know (or think they do) about Russia and Russians...

  It had never stricken me, it had never been that crystal clear until I moved to the UK how little (sadly!) or even less than little British people know about Russia and Russians.

 Now I am sort of 'surrounded' by Western culture, unlike lots of Russians abroad I don't watch Russian TV, don't read Russian newspapers and I tend to watch lots of Hollywood and British films instead. And it seems to me most Western cliches about Russia are still more like 'Cold War' type things, Russia and Russians still being 'monsters under your bed', something you get scared about without knowing a slightest thing.

  So, for you, dear readers, to get an idea of what it looks like to a Russian (pure 100% Russian :), here they are, British and Western cliches about Russia and Russians (based on films, programmes, articles on the Internet and in media).

1. Russians only eat cabbage soup. When they have had enough of cabbage soup, they start eating beetroot. Russians put beetroot into almost each and every dish, including puddings.

2. It's always bloody f***ing cold in Russia. Those who tell you it's actually +30 in Moscow in July are bloody sneaky KGB agents who just want to drag you into this freezing cold country where you are most likely to freeze you bloody bollocks off even in the middle of August!!! If you by some unluck have to travel to Russia in the summer you better pack your bloody uggs and a fur hat because it's bloody freezing.

3. All Russians are bandits, gangsters and mafia people. They are taught to be gangsters since kindergarten. A perfect gift for a Russian toddler is an AK gun. And a bag of beetroot, of course!

4. There are bears everywhere in Russia. Russians like deadly dangerous types of entertainment like getting drunk and dancing with bears in freezing cold. Bears in Russia actually prefer cabbage soup to honey, bite it, Winnie-the-Pooh!

5. Russians always shoot. They tend to start firing their AK guns as an argument in a discussion or every time they feel frustrated or upset. For example, when they don't have a bear to dance with or failed to find beet root in a banoffee pie!

6. Russians don't speak any English at all. Well, they don't have to - they all have an AK gun! If you come across a Russian who speaks almost perfect English, beware!!! It must be a sneaky f***king KGB agent.

7. When Russians speak English, they sound like meerkats. Like Alexander and Sergey from those infamous TV adverts. Only without being cute and cuddly like them.

  So, if we have a look at typical Western cliches about Russia and Russians, they are: cold, vodka, bears, mafia, AK guns, beetroot and cabbage soup!
  'Simples!!!'

Huge slugs in my garden!!!

  Unlike lots of women in Russia, I am not afraid of mice, snakes, I can even stand seeing a cockroach without fainting.

  In fact in my eventful life there were times when I used to catch mice with nearly bare hands - well, I had my hand wrapped in a plastic bag (or, rather, had a plastic bag over my hand) and was chasing after mice all over my room in the students' dorm. I caught about 20 or 30 of those squeaking monsters. Not every cat can boast of such heroism and that many trophies.
  All cockroaches in the neighbourhood knew I wasn't the one to mess with - I killed them with cold heart and slippers.
  But before moving to the UK I had never seen slugs of this size: they are huuuuuuuuuge! They are fat and disgusting.
  They live in my garden and happen to think they can treat themselves to my cat's food. They scare my cat and disgust me.
  If anyone knows a way to get rid of them for good, please let me know - they attack my cat's bowl which is outside at the moment because it's nice and warm. They come in the dark, quiet, disgusting intruders.
  Please let me know: my cat will be grateful :)

Something special about Britain

  Yes, I have been here for 8 or 9 months only and yes, I am currently experiencing some kind of inner cultural clashing, noticing lots of cultural differences between Russia and the UK.
  Some are nice, some scary and some really weird.
  Britain is the country where dogs of deadly breeds run in the parks freely like labrador puppies while little kids, mostly toddlers, are often kept on a leash.
 

(Copyright - http://www.youjustmademylist.com/?p=4560)

  When I saw my first 'leashed toddler' I couldn't but keep staring at both the kid and the proud parent.

  A couple of days ago in Worcester I spotted a young man with his baby daughter on a leash: he was busy fiddling with his iPhone while the girl wanted to look at some flowers and tried to reach them. The man didn't turn his head in her direction (too busy with facebook or something) but instead pulled the leash a few times like you do with your dog when it gets too excited over some pissed bush and you want to go home as quickly as possible because of some lame TV programme like 'Dogging with Stars' or 'Top Gear'. So you pull the leash in irritation, shouting, 'Come on, Spotty, time to go home!'

  Though I realise it must be because of parents being very protective of their kids, to me it looks weird and a bit barbaric

Exploring Russia: charming Suzdal

  If there is any tourists-friendly city in Russia it must be Suzdal.
  It is as charming, cosy and pastoral as it can be, it's a sort of  'Hollywood fairy-tale' picture of Russia.
  Located in 220 kms away from Moscow, Suzdal is a perfect place for spending a few days enjoying unique historical sights, medieval Russian architecture, long walks in nearly countryside surroundings, Russian cuisine and shopping for some funny memorable gifts.
 

(Copyright http://www.lifeisphoto.ru/photo.aspx?id=144535)

  It's so peaceful, friendly, generous, welcoming, so different from noisy Moscow with its hectic and crazy pace of life that you will feel relaxed, rested and, hopefully, will be able to really enjoy your stay in Russia :)

(Copyright - Dmitry Kuzin).

  It's a busy tourist place so there won't be any difficulties getting an English speaking guide.

  It's worth knowing that medieval architecture in Russia is mostly convents, monasteries and churches, however, Russian Orthodox churches, elegant and beautiful in their 'bridal white', with golden, green or blue cupolas give a very light, warming and joyful impression.

  And do not dare leaving Suzdal without trying their delicious dumplings and pancakes! :)

  Summer is traditionally a very festive season in Suzdal with lots of festivals, including the so called 'Cucumber Day', when a big 'cucumber parade' is held with fancy dresses and entertainment and Russian 'babushkas' selling home-made pickled cucumbers.

A couple of years ago I went to Suzdal for the 'Cucumber Day' and couldn't resist the temptation of buying a few home-made pickled cucumbers. They tasted heavenly but the most 'seductive' thing about them was this divine aroma, the combination of dill, parsley, young blackcurrant leaves, and all the herbs Russian 'babushkas' use, keeping their recipes in secret. And though it would sound weird but tasting these cucumbers might tell you more about Russia and Russians than books or articles in mass-media.

   

Eating Out in Moscow

Well, it's July now and we are in the peak of 'tourist' season in Moscow. 

If you want to visit the capital of Russia, the best time to do it is in the period from May to September.

Surprisingly enough September can be absolutely gorgeous: it's Indian summer so it is generally quite warm (+15/+19C) and nice and you can enjoy all those wonderful autumn colours without inevitable for this season  rains and winds.

  A couple of months ago I wrote this post http://morethaneverexpected.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/hostile-moscow.html about Moscow being unfriendly towards visitors. However, I will always keep saying that Russia is worth coming to because of its very different and unique culture. Moscow 'architectural treasures' are worth seeing - most of Western people I have known who came to Moscow either for holiday or on business have always pointed out how impressively different it is from anything they saw before.

  The infamous Moscow prices which are quite often ridiculously high can be a total deal-breaker if you want  to visit Moscow. It is the city where they can charge you 10 pounds for a cup of coffee in a coffee-shop and your coffee will still be a disappointment. 

  So I am going to be 'painfully honest' with you: visiting Moscow for high-class dining out experience might not be a very good idea. If posh dining out isn't something you are looking for, if you are travelling to Moscow to see the Kremlin, St. Basil's Cathedral, famous Moscow churches, beautiful 'palace parks' like Ostankino or Tsaritsino and you only need good though probably not very sophisticated food to keep you happy I suggest you stick to fast food restaurants.

So here they are:

1. Macdonald's, KFC and some other familiar brands: noisy, usually crowded, but safe and very predictable.  So far, living in the UK and visiting Macdonald's (I like their toffee sundae) I haven't spotted any principal differences between the menu here, in the UK, and in Moscow. 

Though you shouldn't expect the staff to speak English there will always be a manager who will help you out and even if he or she fails to understand your, for instance, Black Country accent, which is absolutely fantastic but I have to admit it sounds extremely frustrating to a Russian ear, - even in this case you will always be able to simply point to food you want on a picture.

  Moscow prices in Macdonald's are more or less the same as in the UK, might be slightly higher though.

2. 'Elki-palki' or, in Russian, "Елки-палки". It's a chain of fast food restaurants where you in fact get proper service - with waiters and so on. It is Russian national cuisine or, to be precise, stylized Russian cuisine.

  It's all about Russian pancakes and dumplings and traditional meat or fish dishes.

  Here is the link to their website http://www.elki-palki.ru/moskva/

  Unfortunately the menu is in Russian only, but as I have been in their restaurants with my English speaking friends quite a few times I can say (basing on experience) that the staff there can speak basic English quite often.

  If you are curious about their menu now please ask - I can translate bits of it for you, dear readers:)

  In fact if there is any Moscow equivalent to British family pubs - 'Elki-palki' must be it.

  Dinner for 2 people (without alcohol) will cost you around 25-30 pounds, there are a lot of restaurants all over Moscow, the menu is always more or less the same and though I can not say that it's posh or fine dining but it's as tasty, nice and welcoming as it can be.

  

In this photo you can see the so called 'telega' (a cart in Russian) which is basically a buffet with a variety of salads, dips, lots of which are vegetarian and trust me - not all of them contain cabbage or beet-root, something you would expect from Russians! Quite tasty and filling :)

3. 'Mou-mou' fast food restaurants ("Му-му" in Russian), means 'moo', yeah, you got it right - it's what a cow says. Why a cow and 'moo'? Do not get over-excited and think that it means a good piece of steak. No :)

  The chain actually got its name from  famous Soviet sweets called 'Moo-moo', which are basically caramel toffees and you will be given a sweet for free every time you buy something from 'Mou-mou'.

  Like 'Elki-palki' it's a chain of restaurants so you can find a 'Mou-mou' place almost everywhere. Unlike 'Elki-Palki' though you don't get waiters' service there - it's like a canteen.

 Which means you come there, grab a tray and move along the line with food where you are asked what you would like. It starts with all types of salads, then soups, then hot dishes, then desserts and drinks.

  Here is the link to their menu http://www.cafemumu.ru/menu/

  Sadly - again in Russian only. Explaining to a person behind the counter what you would like without knowing Russian is a tricky bit of course but all the foods are displayed so you can simply have a look and point to something you like. Or bring your Russian speaking friend with you :) Or ask me to translate something from the menu for you :)

  Here is what their places look like:

  

Quite nice, actually. The biggest advantage is the price, your full dinner (not including alcohol) will cost you 15 pounds or so for two.

4. 'Taras Bulba'. Again a chain of restaurants. It's Ukrainian cuisine, not Russian basically, but it is rather similar. It's named after a famous Ukrainian war hero Taras Bulba (you can google a book about him, written by a great Russian 19th century writer Nicolay Gogol').

  Though the interior might seem OTT or even tacky the food is nice and filling and you will definitely enjoy the experience.

  

It's a more expensive option than 'Elki-palki' but they do have - if I remember that right - English menus in their restaurants.

  So these have been my recommendations for dining out places in Moscow. Hopefully you will find them helpful if you are planning on travelling to the capital of Russia.

  And if there are questions you want to ask, then go ahead :)